Salvaging my old blog

The next few posts are entries I wrote previously.

The Strangest Dream.
December 10th, 2006

Last night I had the strangest dream. It was so long, and fun, and I didn’t want to forget it so I wrote it down (all three pages.) It is all true, and all in order. All I added was a bit of flow…
It was the day of the concert. It was the biggest concert that our band had ever played. I tuned my guitar and stepped onto the stage. The stadium was packed with roaring fans. Halfway through our first song, we all fell to the ground from a terrible blast. It passed all the way through my chest. An explosion had gone off in the crowds!The crowds started running for their lives, then we figured out what had happened; the German terrorists were back for more! They had already tried to destroy our band with a fire-breathing dragon. But this time they had gone too far. They had spherical hand-bombs that exploded on impact (looking back- they looked just like my potato death star, from teh banquet.) Fearing for the worst, we threw down our instruments and ran.There were bombs going off everywhere, and I lost track of my band mates. I sprinted out of the stadium and jumped into my car. I drove as fast as I could to the Nanaimo harbour and stole the closest boat I could find.
Oh no. As the boat started to cruise, a fighter jet flew overhead. A stream of bullets flew across the surface of water. I thought I was going to die. Then I noticed a second plane. A dogfight was fast under way! The two planes shot at each other franticly All of the sudden the second plane flew straight into the ocean and starred sinking.I had had enough of all this action. I turned on the boat and headed for Scotland.
After a few days I arrived in a port not too far from the city of Glasgow. I met some nice Scottish folks and I told them what had happened to me. They decided to let me stay the night with them. I made friends with their son and the next morning I took the bus from their house to school.“How long is the ride?â€? I asked the boy beside me.“Not long," he replied, “Only about twenty minutes to Glasgow from here."
Once the bus arrived at the school I ran. I did not want to go to school in Glasgow, because I had already graduated. So I decided to go shopping instead. Glasgow was a gorgeous city with many glass buildings. It was not like the Glasgow I had read about in books. The sun was shining down bright and clear. The city was to hi-tech, the sidewalks moved like a treadmill. I decided to head into a really fancy purple mall. As I walked through the doors I noticed there was a small jazz combo playing. As I got closer I noticed who it was. My old high school combo was playing! Robert, Jeremy, Kyla, and some other guitar player were playing some songs. Once they were done I went to talk to Robert, my old friend.“Fancy meeting you here in Glasgow Robert!" I said to him.“Yeah, you should see all the sports cars they have over here!" he replied.“What is your favourite one?" I responded.“Well, the other day I bought a Lamborgini Gallardo, it’s incredible. The speed limit is way faster here in Scotland!"
“Well, that is wonderful Robert, I will see you later!"
“Wait, before you go Mark, you can’t miss the pipeline!"
“What is the pipeline?" I asked.
Robert proceeded to tell me about a wonderful mode of transportation called a pipeline. In the middle of the mall you could wrap your arms and legs around a big steel tube and a vacuum with suck you from place to place. It was incredible!I got off the pipeline and headed into a London drugs store. The man working the till tried to persuade me to buy a knife for my mom’s Christmas gift. But before I could reply to him, he fell to the ground. It was the strangest thing. Since I was trained to handle emergency medical situations, I assessed the man. He was unconscious, but his pulse and respirations were both fine, so I called the ambulance and they took him away to the hospital.I decided to check out the rest of the store. I went downstairs to the basement were a Jazz Band was rehearsing. Their guitar player could hardly play, and his tone sounded so bad! So I asked him if I could play, and he let me sit in. The conductor counted in the piece. I knew the song! It was called “Cerulean Sky." So I played the guitar part with great precision and tone. The guitarist was thankful that he could hear the part. Then I left the London Drugs store and caught a bus back to the Glasgow harbour.The bus driver seemed friendly so I introduced myself.“Hi I’m Mark!" I said with gusto.“Hi Mark, my name is Ruth, but you can call me Mrs. Stefanek." The bus driver replied.“It is a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Stefanek" I said as I sat down on a seat behind her. As we were driving I noticed there was a few policemen and some paramedics on the side of the road. They were taking care of a patient, who was lying on a park bench.“Are there a lot of medical emergencies here in Glasgow?" I asked Mrs. Stefanek.“Oh yeah, there sure are," she replied, “Everyone loves a good medical emergency!"
The bus soon arrived at the harbour. Within five minutes I found my boat. I talked to some locals and they told me that not to far away there was a river that ran into the ocean. So I made my way along the shore and I found the mouth of the river. I headed upstream. The forest around me was thick, and it was as green as an unripe banana. The boat was handling wonderfully, so I decided to pick up the speed. As I was accelerating my lint brush flew out of the boat because of the wind!
“Oh no!" I screamed, “My lint brush!" I leapt from the boat and dove into the crystal clear water. It was only about twenty feet deep and I could see everything underwater perfectly. I grabbed my small beloved brush. As I was surfacing I looked around the canal. There were massive roots growing down into the side of the riverbed. In was a really great moment of underwater bliss.
Then I surfaced,
Woke up from my REM sleep.
And faced the day.

It was the longest and most exciting dream of my life. Gareth says “It was the tukey talking.”
Thanks to all the sponsors of last nights banquet…delicious and hallucinogenic!